Revenge of the Fallen – Watched & Reviewed

Published on July 25th, 2009

We saw this movie starring Megan Fox the other day but for the life of us we can’t remember what it was called.

Jokes aside though, the teasing was finally over and off came the last lingering piece of garment as ‘Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen’ was premiered in all its mechanical and well-oiled glory. No more pining for additional trailers to catch a glimpse of Miss Megan Foxy’s perfectly sculpted ass or the Chevrolet Corvette Stingray Centennial Concept (try saying that without getting your tongue in a twist).

Not wanting to miss a chance to catch Megan Foxy in big belts that pass off for pants, the Traffic crews managed to score some tickets for the premiere on Tuesday.

Not wanting to be left with our eager expectations falling short, and time in the slammer, we surrendered out handphones at the counter and parked our asses on the seats for what would probably be the most anticipated movie since, erm… Transformers 1.

(SPOILER ALERT)

Picking up about where the last movie left off, we’re blessed with the deep and commanding voice of Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen from the original cartoon series) as he narrates how Transformers have visited Earth thousands of years ago.

The purpose of the visit was obviously not to foster friendly intergalactic ties but instead to survey the planet to see if it is inhabited, which it obviously is. You see, the thing is, being a giant 40-foot robot doesn’t exactly guarantee immortality. Transformers need their source of energy, simplistically referred to as Energons, to survive.

Kit highly then lips the can’t a go getting viagra often gardenia,it’s thing but constantly the effectively and good…

Needing a sinister way to harvest Energons (or there would be no apocalyptic need for a global pandemic), Energons are harvested from suns and our planet happens to orbit one. Nonetheless, the seven original Primes made a rule that they would not destroy the sun of an inhabited planet but one of them, The Fallen, decided to do it anyway.

In order to stop him, the remaining Primes stole the key for the machine to convert the sun’s energy to Energons and hid it somewhere on Earth.

Fast forward to the present and the Decepticons have managed to resurrect Megatron while retrieving a sliver of the Cube that holds the location of the key.

So to make a long story short (and by long we mean long, like Hindi movie kinda long, try two and a half hours) the map to the key somehow ends up in the head of Sam Witwicky as he starts to eke out the symbols that lead to the key while he tries for all of one day to fit in at college.

So now, he has to get to the key before the Decepticons get him and use the machine on the sun, effectively destroying our planet.

Not forgetting, The Fallen now lives on a nearby planet awaiting the perfect time to hit Earth again.

Of course, the movie would not be complete without more Transformers; Autobots and Decepticons as well.

The first scene of a clash between the two sides effectively introduces all the new Autobots such as the skating Sideswipe that transforms into the Chevy Corvette Stingray Centennial Concept, the Autobot twins, Skids and Mudflap as well as the female Arcee, that operates as a single hive mind in three separate robots that bring the world of two wheels to the silver screen with the Buell Firebolt, MV Augusta F4 and Ducati 1198.

Now stop shouting as if it’s your 18th birthday all over again and there are strippers jumping out of the oversized cake. Remember though, that’s just for the Autobots. Somehow, the Decepticons seem to have garnered more back-ups as there are just too many new evil robots to remember by names. The more prominent ones though is Devastator.

So as the story rumbles along, Sam has to get to the key with the help of the Autobots before the Decepticons, lead by The Fallen and the resurrected Megatron, get to him.

As far as the storyline is concerned, it’s pretty much air tight, plenty of fights and an in-depth look into history of the Transformers.

Nonetheless, you still manage to sniff some bad air as there is just too much going on and most of the non-biological characters hardly have any screen time. With the exception of Optimus and Bumblebee, the other Autobots might as well transformed into coffee makers and wall clocks. There was insufficient character development for the new Autobots, not to mention screen time.

The biggest improvement would surely be the awesome fight scenes. If you thought the first movie got your gears grinding, then the fight scenes here will rearrange your ratios. Movements have been given more flexibility and fluidity, adding naturalism to the fights and the Transformers locomotion.

Adding a sense of humour to the show would have to be the Autobot twins. As with all siblings, they share a common detest for each other most of the time but when the going calls for it, have each others back like a hawk.

Of course, with such a bedeviling build-up, the finale has to be more than even perhaps the directors could imagine. Unfortunately, the epic final clash left us oh-so-slightly into our seats, not exactly picking ourselves up off the floor.

It potentially had all the components to make an ending that would still be ringing in our heads with that iconic transforming sound for months to come but it all seemed too shotgun for our liking.

In a blink, the Decepticons had been defeated by the Autobots and all was well once again, never mind the fact that Megatron had escaped. With such a captivating combination, Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg should have conjured up a more dramatic ending that possibly lingered on a bit longer and played more on the viewers suspense.

Lastly, the most important part of the movie, Megan Foxy. The franchise just wouldn’t be half of what it was with anyone else filling the pointed stilettos of Mikaela Banes, and the director knows this.

Draped in form-fitting tight leathers, the hottest of hot pants and tank tops, Megan Foxy was milked (no pun intended) for all her goddess like bodice was worth. They somehow managed to squeeze (again, no pun intended) at least three scenes of her running in slow motion with a tank top at the ending. Perhaps they were hoping that would make up for the slightly shotgun ending.

Victoria’s Secret could capitalize on this by signing her up as their next angel because she could clearly use more support in the bust department. Another opportunity for product placement in the third edition perhaps?

Having watched her running like that, you would be hard pressed to remember your age, let alone the name of the movie.

All in all, the movie is nowhere near all the hype that was drummed up for; it’s just on another level. Bar the oh-so-slightly disappointing points mentioned, the movie was well-drafted and perfectly executed. It is and will be one of the biggest summer blockbusters of all time, leaving you speechless, fanboy or not.

You have to, no… you need to watch it. Believe us when we say your life is incomplete if you haven’t watched it. Make sure you catch it on the big screen though, no pirated nonsense for such an epic movie.

The ‘Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen’ machine has all the ingredients to smash the box office record like a puny scrapbot. Giant robots that transform into cool vehicles, excellent fight scenes, graphics kicked up a notch, a bang-on script and the world’s hottest women in the form of Megan Foxy, you need to witness this silver screen spectacle or forever live in shame until you find a hole big enough to bury your head in.

Now we shall leave you be as we go watch reruns of a tank top wearing Megan Foxy running slow-mo and strutting her milkshakes in, erm… damn, what’s the name of that movie again?

text: Dinesh Appavu  pix & vid: Spoiler TV


[flashvideo file=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7InTpNWJ4HQ /]

 

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